I can’t afford to stop, and catch my breath.
And so, I ran.
And ran some more.
Until, I tripped.
It has been an exhausting and stressful 3 months. I kept running after what-seemed-like a moving goal. It’s been frustrating, and my only reward is that I can go home with my family at the end of the day, and relax. But that, too, changed.
On Bringing Work Issues at Home
Since I still don’t have a close friend in the office, I don’t talk about my sentiments to anyone. As a result, I ended up bringing work-related concerns of mine during dinner at home:
I’m not reaching my quota. In fact, I’m nowhere near in reaching it because it is such an unrealistic and unfair goal.
I look young so people don’t take me that seriously.
I can’t make meaningful connection with my colleagues because their group is too exclusive.
Blah blah blah blah blah
My family called my attention for this behavior. I understood their concern, but I was hurt. I had no allies, none yet in the office, and none anymore at home,
No one to tell my worries and troubles.
On Making Friends at Work
I am usually a friendly person, but for some reason I am not myself in the office. And so I cannot make a meaningful connection with anyone. Though making friends in the office is not part of my work, having some can make the work place less daunting – especially during lunch time.
On Looking Young
I look like a twelve year old kid. And this can be a problem when I am meeting potential clients. They don’t see me as someone who mean business. Their initial concern is if they can speak with someone more senior. I hate it.
On Not Reaching My Quota
This is my ultimate stressor. On my first month, I only achieved 14% of my target, and then 19% on my 2nd month, and 78% now on my 3rd month. As a business development executive, this is my main key performance index.
It won’t matter that much if I look young, or have no friends at work, etc, as long as I am continuously delivering what I am expected of. But I am not. Hence, the multiple frustrations.
But this is not the story of a victim.
I refuse to be the victim of any circumstance.
To avoid needlessly disturbing or annoying anyone (family or not), I decided that if a person cannot do anything to help me with my problems, then I have no business telling my problems to him/her. Hustle.
It will be awkward and uncomfortable, but I guess the only way to make friends in the office is to try. Hustle.
As superficial as it sounds, I have to power dress and use make up to look the part. But more important than what I wear, is what I am aware of. Read. Read. Read. I must continuously learn the industry that I am in. Hustle.
Clearly my strategy is not enough, I have to pinpoint what works and what doesn’t, and then regroup. It is not enough that I work smart nor hard. I have to work hard and smart; there is no substitute at this moment. Hustle.
Because this is not the story of a victim, but that of a hustler.
One final word, don’t entertain the thought of quitting when things aren’t going your way or when situations are difficult. Only entertain such thoughts when everything is going well, because if you think of quitting when everything is fine, then you must be in a job you hate. But to quit when things are difficult (as it will often be) is not only shortsighted, but also detrimental to your maturity.